IRISH influencer Trisha Lewis has opened up about her secret battle with a gambling addiction – admitting: I wanted to jump into a river outside the casino.

The Cork-based chef, otherwise known as @trishas.transformation, has over 224k followers on Instagram after sharing her weight loss transformation online.

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Taking to the social media platform last night, the author revealed that her struggles with her weight was just one part of her life that she has transformed.

The chef revealed that she also battled with gambling for many years, spending most nights in the casino..

She is now bravely urging others who need help not to be ashamed and to break the “taboo shameful secret”.

Trisha took to social media to reveal her battle, sharing: “Probably a part of my life I never thought I would tell but here goes.

“Like everyone I have a past and part of my past is that I am addicted to gambling.

“Even writing this my head tells me ‘no you just like cards and kinda lose money’. It’s amazing the power of that inner voice has.

“A part if my life before Trisha’s transformation is in fact that I lost everything I had in the casino time and time again.”

Trisha revealed how she spent large amounts of her time in casinos, building up huge debt and suffering from huge anxiety as a result.

She said: “For all my 20s I played in the casino nearly seven nights of the week, Christmas Eve, NYE, it didn’t matter if it was open I went.

“It was my safe place and the place where I could self-destruct a life I didn’t really like.

“My gambling addiction was a slow burner that ended on a crescendo where I wanted to jump into a river outside the casino most weekends.

“Writing that hurts my heart but it is the truth.”

She admitted the damage she did on her mental health was “terrifying”.

Trisha continued: “I couldn’t see a way out and all I wanted was to be normal.

“My weight for me was a huge factor.

“The casino was the only place I felt accepted.

“The only place I could socialise on a Saturday night without being laughed at.”

CRACKS APPEARING

Trisha revealed how the addiction was the result of loneliness but it affected her family and friends too.

She said: “My gambling addiction started from loneliness and continued with an addiction that I battled for years.

“I continued on with my career and only my very inner circle started seeing cracks as I was slowly losing myself and asking for loans more often.”

But Trisha explained she is sharing her journey is because she has come out “the other side”.

She revealed: “I am no longer embarrassed to say it.”

“It’s no longer something I blame myself for.”

Lockdown was the point she finally stopped playing cards.

Trisha said: “I started therapy in lockdown as I felt my head was beginning to get down again and I went to see a therapist on gambling and binge eating.

“Though every session I began to understand where my addiction has come from.”

MINDSET TRANSFORMATION

She was given “invaluable” tools to avoid this happening again.

Trisha said: “Credit cards, loans, waiting for 12am on a Friday night to get paid while sitting in a casino were all part of my life in the past and to see me now jogging around the place brings tears to my eyes.

“I am finally free. I have transformed my life in so many ways.”

Trisha recalled a family trip to Amsterdam she had to miss out on as she lost every cent in a casino the night before.

She said: “This year as we went to Amsterdam with my family I hugged my mother because the last Amsterdam trip I had booked with all of the Jacobs gang didn’t happen for me.

“I went to the casino the night before it and lost every cent I had and ignored all the calls pretending I had slept in.”

“So to go finally and be happy with my family was incredible. Surreal. I know that me having a page with a following means that I have to be a cool blogger now and I guess I don’t see this very often online but it’s part of my past and my story and I am no longer ashamed of myself, I’m proud of my strength and resilience and for sticking around when the going got rough.”

‘SHAMEFUL SECRET’

She told how drastically her life has changed since getting help.

She said: “If gambling stays a taboo shameful secret it will always win. I am always going to have this addiction but knowledge is power. I can not tell you how different my life is.”

Trisha revealed that losing money was often a distraction from other problems she was facing.

She said: “Losing money gave me a numbness of the pain my head was in. I ended up owing a lot of money and I woke every day for years with a worry that crushed my chest.”

She urged others to get help if they are in a similar situation to her own.

Trisha added: “You don’t have to fight this fear alone. No matter how bad the damage is nothing is worse than you not being here.

“Don’t let gambling win. For the first time ever let it lose.”