Nicolas Hamilton had to sell a Mercedes car gifted to him by his Formula 1 champion brother Lewis to pay off debt caused by an “all-consuming” gambling addiction.
In his new book, ‘Now That I Have Your Attention’, the 32-year-old reveals how he became depressed and considered suicide as a result of his addiction. It began with one £2 on football team Arsenal to score a goal, and turned into a six-month binge involving online casinos and blackjack from his bedroom.
Nicolas has cerebral palsy and is a role model to millions through his racing career. He joined the British Touring Car Championship in 2015 and celebrated his career-best result of sixth place at Donington Park only last year.
But in 2017 he fell into a hole, eating Pot Noodles in the dark as he spent thousands gambling online. He even had to sell a luxury Mercedes C63 gifted to him by his brother Lewis so he could afford to pay off a tax bill.
He described his turmoil in his book, writing: “I felt so ashamed, using this amazing gift to pay my tax bill. It felt like I had practically stolen the money from my brother and I have never forgiven myself for that.
“It destroyed me. I got a real wake-up call. I had no way of going forward because I’d lost everything. I was stuck. I had a balcony at my flat and I was thinking what would I do if I just jumped off it.”
During the height of Nicolas’ addiction struggles, Lewis was dominating the F1 championship with Mercedes and earning an eight-figure salary. Nicolas didn’t feel comfortable going to his brother or parents to open up about his problems and instead turned to the Samaritans helpline to help him get through.
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Speaking to The Times about his struggles, he said: “I wanted more of the winnings – and the losing didn’t really deter me. It just got me in a cycle. I couldn’t stop thinking about it – I just wanted to go back to my computer.
“The whole day would go quite easily. I could see it was a problem but I was too far in. I was scared to stop. I’d lost so much money that I felt like, if I stopped, I was in a hole that I wouldn’t get out of.”
Fortunately, he did manage to pull himself out and has overcome his gambling addiction. He recently visited a casino while in Las Vegas and did not place a bet, and declared that “gambling is no longer an issue” for him.
For emotional support you can call the Samaritans 24-hour helpline on 116 123, email [email protected], visit a Samaritans branch in person or go to the Samaritans website.