DEAR ABBY:

I’m a widow who recently became engaged to a man who, I’m realizing after two years, has a gambling addiction. He recently lied to me about his whereabouts, and I found out this same thing went on during his first marriage. I can’t say for sure this was the first time he was untruthful, but I had a gut feeling.

We had developed what I thought was a good relationship based on mutual respect and trust. I could use some advice about what I should do going forward. He has become my friend and family since I have no children and have lost not only my late husband, but also a brother and recently my father. — THROWN IN NORTH DAKOTA

DEAR THROWN:

I know you are lonely. But if you love your fiance, continue the relationship as it IS, and do not plan on marrying him. Realize that should you marry a person with a gambling addiction, commingling your assets could ruin you financially and affect your retirement.

If he has a desire to change, there are 12-step programs he could join, Gamblers Anonymous being one of them (gamblersanonymous.org). But please be aware that compulsive gambling is an addiction, and your fiance could fall off the wagon at any time.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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